So its about 12.40 in the morning and as i sit here writting this blog im fillied with sadness, as on my way back from the pub after a few drinks with emily. On our usual walk back to our lovely shop house i was faced with something that i had not felt since i was 13, racism.  So as we approached our house some drunken idiots thought it would be fun to throw around a certain few phrases about my appearance as well as the colour of skin...im no this has nothing to do with ham house but its the only way i can process the feelings that im going through at this moment in time. Right now we live in a society where it is said that we should have tolerance for all races and religion and pride in who we are....right now im crying my eyes out at these phrases which were said..im already self consious enough about myself as it is and it has been a bit of a shock too the system!!! i know i should get this go and move on but im not sure how to as i right now i feel have taken several steps back to my early teens when i asked myself what is wrong me? Why can't i be treated and accepted by society and that people could see past my skin colour....i know that people do as i wouldn't have the friends i have and the support they have given me through  the good and bad times....and now that i have written that i feel that maybe i should have known better and not to have let it affect me as it has done.

Now i think i may have calmed down a bit but not that much it has occured to me that although the twats that said these terrible things were a: drunk and b: probably part of the bnp that i really hope that in next months general elections that the BNP do not get into Barking (a diverse place by my hometown) and the rest of the places where they are hoping to gain seats...so that racism and facism can be stopped and i just hope that people are smart enough notto believe there lies...i dont understand a great deal about politics so i maybe wrong in this statement but this is just the feeling i get from it all...

Well thats all i really have to say for now and it doesnt have anything at all to do with ham house so apologies i just need a way to vent and gain some closure...im sure i will be fine by morning and brushed it off to some extent and right now as i look at my facebook status comments and inbox messages of anger of what happened tonight, i feel a bit better that not all people in this world are like the twats i encountered and that they are just a small few and we most definatly outnumber them...